My Son's Story
Gay Browne, founder of Greenopia
When the pediatrician told me there was something wrong with my son, I got this terrible feeling in my stomach. It’s hard to describe the wave of helplessness that washes over you when you hear those words for the first time as a mother. It’s a combination of losing your best friend and drowning at the same time. There is no life ring that saves you.
At three, my eldest son wasn’t speaking in full sentences, wasn’t making eye contact, and seemed to be in his own world. I thought as a working mom that it was my time away from him that was causing this -- it was something I was doing wrong. So, I started to look for specialists that could help me understand what was wrong with my son.
After neurologists, psychologists, behavior specialists, an occupational therapist, bio-feedback, and homeopathic doctors, it was the consensus that my son had several developmental issues that were linked to autism. He was a “high functioning autistic child," they said.
In 1992, the world of autism was just opening its doors. There wasn’t much information available it seemed, and there weren’t any sure-fire cures. So, I set out on a one-woman crusade to heal my child. This crusade led me to convention and homeopathic doctors, each lending their specialty to healing my son.
A leading factor that was identified in these developmental delays seemed to be traced to the high levels of mercury that were discovered after sending in his hair sample to the Smoky Mountains Lab. The solution for this was to chelate (excrete toxins from the system) the mercury through oral treatment. I worked with Murray Clarke, a specialist in Santa Monica in the chelation process.
Through a combination of chelating, psychology and occupational therapy, tutors and socialization classes, my son eventually made it from the end of first grade to where he is now -- 12th grade and looking for a college. This was no easy feat, but I don’t have anything else in my life that makes me more proud than his accomplishments.
He goes to a great high school that is mainstream but has a learning lab. His former auditory processing issues and organizational issues are now called “executive functions issues." He is a star on the basketball team (he is very tall and has wonderful large motor skills). He is a whiz typist since his handwriting is illegible. His best friend is his laptop with spell check, which he uses in all his school work. And he has earned enough flying credits to fly solo and flies a single engine Cessna 175. He’s looking at colleges for next year that have a hands-on film program and hopes to be a filmmaker one day.
In addition to my son, I have two more children -- one more boy and a little girl. I had the silver fillings taken out of my mouth and did several rounds of detoxing between my oldest and the second. None of the issues that plague my oldest have been repeated in my younger two. They have their own set of more traditional issues -- sibling rivalry -- but so far, that’s it.
Because of all the anxiety-filled nights and specialist-filled days, I think I feel the closest to my oldest son. When you have a child with problems you never stop worrying about his or her future.
I’m interested in hearing about any issues that you might have with your children. From autism to ADD to other more severe handicaps, I’d love to hear your story. As mothers, we are the environment for our children. They are what we feed them, how we communicate with them and how we model good behavior to them. The most important of these being the evergreen of love that we always hold for them to grown under.
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Your story could have been mine, though my son was a few months older when he was dx'd as autistic. He too was termed 'high functioning,' which can be a misnomer as the tantrums, self-injurious behavior and obsessions/repetitive behaviors can be just as bad as a non-verbal autistic child. That feeling of 'what next' was and still can be overwhelming. I also have a child with epilepsy. Between the two of them, some days can be very long. We've made friends with some wonderful doctors along the way, and I know the ins/outs of insurance appeals fairly well, to the point of helping others. If I had the time, I'd love to be an advocate to other families dealing with the difficulty of a painful diagnosis and the challenges that lie ahead. My children are all blessings, autistic, epileptic, anything. I do worry about the future, and stopped attending a support group as the stories of those with older children scared me more than anything else. Instead I focus on loving my child and the rest will follow.
I have a son who was 8 before he was diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome. It's another form of Autism, some dr's say. He also has ADHD, which can be taken care of , sort of, for periods of time. We often wondered what we had done wrong, or why he was just plain not listening or acting so very crazy. He is almost 10 now, and sort under some kind of self-control. It can almost drive you mad, the sleepless nights and wildly out of control days. Thanks for sharing your story and ideas!